To me anyway.

At each crucial point in my life, there has been a book that makes me want to write, to be a better writer than I am, and push harder to reach my lofty goals.

The first time the bug bit me, I had just read A Wrinkle in Time and I just knew I wanted to create a world like that. A few years later, it was Little Women, but not for the book itself but the author. If she could accomplish that in an age that was much harder for a woman to do anything, why couldn't this little dream of mine be a reality? Another year or so passed and I read Snow Queen. I ached to be able to create a world so vivid that, as a reader, I felt like I was there. Then came It. And I knew I wanted to bring characters to life in such a brilliant way as to make a reader (like me) chuck the book across the room when things weren't going so great. Silence of the Lambs was another great for character development. And then, there was Ender's Game. There is still Ender's Game. The base human nature split open for inspection, for introspection. I still want to write a book that has power over a reader even ten years later. All the books here have done that for me. They make me want to write and work hard to write better.

What books made you writers out there want to write? What books spur you to work harder at it?

I understand that not everyone wants children or even likes children. I really do get that. I'm not asking anyone to change their opinion of children as a whole. I am asking for a little understanding. A little common sense. I am aware what a rarity that has become.

I go out of my way to make certain that my children do not cause a disturbance. If I choose to take my children to a restaurant, I make sure I have things in the magic bag (my purse) that will keep them occupied in as quiet and polite a manner as is possible. If, for some reason, my son starts to have a meltdown, I will take him out of the restaurant until he calms down because that is what I was raised to do. I find it to be not only polite, but common sense. I don't expect anyone to have to put up with my screaming kid on their date night. I wouldn't want to. But, I will not stop taking my kids out into the world just because there are people who wish to be in a childfree space. In fact, I will not stop taking my kids to places that maybe aren't considered 'kid friendly'. I will go out of my way to make certain they behave, but the only way my kids will learn how to behave properly is to do so, to take them places where they must behave or be removed from the situation. My parents and grandparents did the same with me.

This was less of an issue for me with my first child - he was forty before he was four. With my youngest though, it has been a very different journey and I have a new appreciation of parenthood than I did before. Autism means many things, has many faces, and presents in so many ways that there is no way for an outsider to know if that tantrum is a willful child acting out or a child on the spectrum getting so overwhelmed that they melt down. In fact, the odds are staggaring that it will be the latter. 1 in 100 of those children will be on the spectrum, the ratio is greater if the child is a boy.

I'm not suggesting that anyone suddenly learn to like children and get over it, but there are better ways to deal with the situation than snotty remarks, dirty looks, or complaints to whomever one complains to. Nothing specific happened to me to bring this up, merely a sort of response to a situation in Texas about a young family and their HOA. And it's not even a response to their situation, but a response to some of the comments about the situation. Yes, I find the situation to be ridiculous and wonder what that HOA would fine me for my kids - especially when the youngest is mid-meltdown. But, the idea that kids should be quiet all the time, all day, even in their own homes is just, mind-boggling. 

I have friends who don't have children and never plan to have children. It's not something I understand fully, because I've always known I wanted to be a mom and can't imagine not being a mom. But I certainly don't begrudge them their decision NOT to have children. In fact, if more people who didn't want kids didn't have them, I imagine CPS might find themselves less overworked. Just so long as they aren't rude or cruel to my kids, what does it matter? In fact, some of those people who've chosen not to have kids of their own are some of the best at dealing with my boys.  

Tags: mom stuff, venting

I've just been so busy writing that blogging has taken a back seat - too many things going on to be consistent with it. But, with SH done (until I start hearing back from the few betas I've got it to), and some ideas percolating, I should really make the effort to do more blogging. Not all of it is going to be interesting... but I'll put most of that behind LJ cuts. The kids are good - each of them driving me crazy in their own ways :)

( health and fitness stuff )
( the writing stuff )
That's pretty much all the news that's fit to print from my world at the moment, but I'm feeling more human by the day so maybe it won't be so long between updates now.

That is what the old adage says and I absolutely believe that's true. What I also believe is that we are not always the reason why things happen. We don't face adversity or win-fall just for our own benefit, but possibly for the benefit of those around us. How we face our own trials has an effect on the people around us. How we react can shape the way people around us react to their own adversities. I see one person respond to obstacles and hardships with set shoulders, head up, and a work through it attitude, and I hope that if I should ever have to face those hardships, that I would respond similarly. Or maybe I see a person responding to hardships with complaints and whines and incessant 'why me's, and I hope that I would not respond that same way.

We see it all the time, someone finally comes forward about their abuse or mistreatment and others begin to tell their stories as well, inspired by that first someone. Maybe what happened to that first someone didn't happen because it would make them stronger or more courageous, but maybe so that first someone could be the guiding light for others to follow their example.

What does any of this have to do with anything? Absolutely nothing - it just happened to be something I'm thinking about today while plotting to do horrible things to a character I really like. I'm sitting here plotting against her, trying to figure out just how she will respond and how that might change the reader's perceptions of her. In fiction, everything really does happen for a reason (or it should). Every twist and turn of a plot is by design, and there is as much meaning in how our characters respond as there is in the event itself, maybe more so, at least as far as character development is concerned. It just something I try to keep in mind when I'm doing horrible things to my characters - what kind of person are they in a tight spot? how do I want the reader to see them? are their reaction believable and organic to their nature? I'm hoping I manage to get this particular character's response right - that she does react in a believable way that won't make the readers think less of her or view her as either too hard or too weak.

Tags: fiction, odd, writing

After taking way too long off, I started submitting things again. Granted, I worked on the pieces I sent all through december, second guessing myself at nearly every word. Hopefully, I'll find my stride again soon. I've been focused pretty much exclusively on my novels when I have time to write. At least one of those is coming along swimmingly. I'm in the edit stage just before I beg for beta readers. I'm really liking this book. But, that's no reason not to work on short work and poetry too. Maybe not as much as I used to, but not ignoring them anymore either. Hopefully, some of today's submissions pan out - that'd be really nice. Even if they don't, it is so nice getting back in the grove!

The old year has finally been ushered out, leaving in its place this brand new, unmarked, unblemished year full of potential and possibility. Last year was awesome on the kid front, but not so much on the career front. I am planning to find a bit better balance this year between OVAN, family stuff, and my writing. I am planning to actually write, come hell or high water. I've been in a heck of a slump the last two years and something's got to give. So, I'm going to climb the mountains inside my head and start an avalanche. Clear out the dead wood and broken buildings.

I have set some goals:

1. Revise and continue the agent search for Thosha-Tol
2. Revise and begin the agent search for Solstice House (I'll likely be looking for betas come March or so...)
3. Write 12 new short stories
4. Write 24 new poems
5. Write something - anything - every single day.

I'm not making submission goals this year. I tanked miserably the last two years and I think I've got to get some mojo back, some confidence back in that arena. I plan to submit, I just don't want to submit stuff just to make my goals. I'm taking a page from how I goal set for my little one's therapy - small, attainable steps.

Tags: goals, writing
Current Mood: hopeful

I've been blogging - just not here. Most days anymore, I've been blogging on my support group's blog as a great deal of my time is devoted to my son and his therapies. As the moderator, I'm trying to keep that blog strictly about things pertinent to people with loved ones on the spectrum and the following post doesn't belong there - but I really feel the need to post it so I am.

“If I’m worried and I can’t sleep, I count my blessings instead of sheep, and I fall asleep counting my blessings.” - Bing Crosby in White Christmas. 
 

It’s one of my favorite songs from one of my favorite Christmas movies and a good habit to have to boot. I know I’m blessed in many ways, even if sometimes it doesn't feel that way. I know I have it so much easier than other moms out there. 

Sometimes I think of those moms who have never, maybe will never, hear their child speak. Who will never hear the words, “I love you,” from their babies. Or the moms who have no one to turn to when they are frazzled or flat broke. Or the moms who are struggling just to put food on the table and a roof over their kids’ heads. 

Sometimes I think of those moms who are, right at this very moment, sitting next to their child’s bed in a hospital somewhere just praying their baby makes it through the night. I don’t pretend to know what they are going through, but I watched my own mother go through that many years ago with my baby brother. Her strength always amazed me, it still does. Maybe especially now that I have children of my own.

My mother taught me a lot in the 16 years I got to spend with her. She taught me how to keep things in perspective. How to look for the silver lining in everything - even if it was only a lesson learned. She was not an optimist, but she taught me how to be one.

It humbles me to think of those moms out there like my mom - alone, afraid, at their wits’ end, and just trying to get through the day. Their strength and determination inspires me. They remind me that my darkest day is merely a cloudy one for someone else. I imagine that’s true for just about everyone, even if they can’t see that or don’t want to believe that. So, tonight, I want you to think about all the good things in your life. Fall asleep counting your blessings tonight.

Tags: life
Current Mood: contemplative

With all the crazy that's been going on, Livejournal and twitter have fallen by the wayside a little bit. OK. A lot. I still read my flist, but posting doesn't always fit into my day. I'd feel a lot worse about this if I didn't have something to show for it. I've finished a new novel (now in revision), sortaplotted out my nanoprojects (there are 2), prepped another novel for beta (and gotten some good feedback so far), and best of all - my youngest has made so much progress. Between the work he and I do, the therapy, and school - he's come so far. It's so nice to see that progress, to know what we're doing is working for him. And, the support group has been doing good things. At least, I think we are doing good things. I feel a little torn in four directions at the moment - between my younger son's needs and therapies, my older son's needs, my writing, and the support group, but I need to try to get back into the habit of bloggin somewhere other than the support group's blog. As much as autism has taken over my time, I can't let it take over my life. Still looking for balance - it's a hard thing to find and then maintain. But - maybe nano can bring everything back into focus for me a little bit.

To those of you who live anywhere near Weirton, WV: We are having a car wash fundraiser tomorrow from 10am to 2pm at Cain's Barbershop on Pennsylvania avenue. We're raising money for support equipment for local children with autism. If you can't make it, but know someone in the area - could you pass the information along? Thanks! anyone needing more information - email ovan.sarah@gmail.com 

Tags: autism, fundraiser, ohio valley autism network, ovan
Current Mood: hopeful

That's what I have been! In December of last year when my youngest was diagnosed with Autism, I felt so lost, so lonely, so danged guilty (of what, I don't know, but there was a part of me that was convinced if I'd just done something different - but that is a pointless game). I've learned a lot since then. I've met a lot of great people since then. And I've learned that, where I live, services for autistic children and their families are few and far between once you're out of the birth to three section. At least if you don't work in Pennsylvania (because they have put into place an act that requires insurance companies to cover autism related therapies). 

When I was invited to a brand new support group, I was a little reluctant to go - I can be a little shy sometimes in the real world. But I am so glad my husband and I went. Out of that meeting, out of meeting those people, something wonderful has happened. We've decided that we'll take on the job of telling people in our area what is available, help them to get what they need to better help their kids.

We started the Ohio Valley Autism Network as a way to put all the information we can find for our area in one place, to connect families who are all dealing with the same issues, and, hopefully, to be able to raise the funds to buy programs and equipment for these kids - things that aren't covered by any insurance (for those lucky enough to have coverage), things that will help these children learn and function to the best of their ability.  We have a long way to go. The website is still growing, and will continue to do so. Our membership is small, but growing.

If we can help just one family travel this road a little easier, then I think we will have succeeded. I very much hope we can help many more than that.

Tags: autism, life, ohio valley autism network
Current Mood: accomplished